The Craigmillar Book Festival Competition by Hazel Allan
On Friday March 20th 2009 I visited the Gaff Theatre in Craigmillar as part of the ‘Craigmillar Book Festival’. I was invited to introduce my forthcoming novel ‘Bree McCready and the Half Heart Locket’ to one hundred Primary Six and Seven children from the Craigmillar cluster (St Francis Primary, Castleview Primary, Niddrie Mill Primary and Newcraighall Primary).
Despite the butterflies in my tummy I really enjoyed myself! I talked a bit about my book and explained some of the reasons why I decided to try my hand at writing. I also read an excerpt from my novel which I found really exciting because it was the first time anyone other than myself or the team at Strident had heard the story.
This was my first event and obviously I felt very nervous beforehand, but all the children and their teachers made me feel really relaxed. I was so impressed by everyone’s behaviour during the hour long session.
I offered some top tips on being a writer and ended with a question and answer session. Some of the questions were really interesting and thought provoking.
During the talk I set the children a competition called ‘The Magic Door’. A very big pat on the back to all the children who took part in the competition and especially to Batool Al-Harbie from Castleview Primary School and Dale Quinn from Niddrie Mill Primary School who won. I have also promised to return to their schools in August to deliver them each a signed copy of “Bree McCready and the Half Heart Locket”
Well done!
Imagine that you have found a magic doorway…
What does your door look like?
Where is the door? (In a haunted house, a tree trunk..)
How does the door open? (Do you need magic words or a key?)
What is on the other side? (Another planet, the past, a magic world, a terrible place?)
What is it like on the other side?
Who is with you? How many characters or is it just you?
What happens to the characters?
When does this happen? (At school, during the weekend, on holiday?)
How do you get back to the real world?
I wanted to see if the children had been listening to my advice on how to write a good story - and I wasn’t disappointed. I was surprised and delighted to receive so many brilliant stories and was so amazed by the effort and standard of the entries that I took the time to write a personal reply to each of the children who took part. After careful consideration I chose one boy and one girl winner from the pile, it was a really tough decision! Read on for the winning entries and my reasons for choosing them…
THE MAGIC DOOR
BY BATOOL AL-HARBIE – P7 CASTLEVIEW PRIMARY SCHOOL
I am an ordinary girl, living with an ordinary family. I go to school everyday, and have lots of problems with my little annoying brother Justin. We fight together everyday over anything, even the remote control. Anyway I am Zainia, my best friend is Jennifer. I like Jennifer a lot, because she’s just confident about who she is. Jennifer and I always love to hang out together a lot, like go to the mall and buy our little secret fashion. Our fashion is sporty, cute and casual we just love this type of style.
As I said before, we are an ordinary family. Well…not exactly ordinary, my grandfather is a wizard. I know, this sounds really strange but, it’s true. Whenever we sat together and spoke about his life, he always used to say “every 10 years”, and then he would stop for about 20 seconds and continue, “ a new wizard is born with a little family. That family would either have one child, or none at all.” After he says this I would always wish as if I was a wizard, and just go deep into another world and imagine.
Sadly my grandfather passed away two weeks ago. I always go to our library and sit for an hour thinking and remembering my grandfather. Today I decided to change, from sitting on my desk and talking to myself and crying, I decided to sit on my grandfather’s special seat. Suddenly I realized that in the bookcase in front of me, there was a strange book. All the other book titles from the side were written in a horizontal way, except that book. It was a brown book, the title was written in a vertical weird way, and was the biggest and thickest book of all.
Then I suddenly remembered grandpa, and wondered about what he used to do when he locked himself in the library. I grabbed the book and put it on grandpa’s desk. The book was filled with dust; I wiped all the dust off. The book’s title was strange it was called ‘Jawizsell’ (Jawizsell). That was a strange title I thought, but after 5 seconds I opened the book, then I saw a red button in one of the pages which said the title again. That was strange. I pressed the button then the book shelf rose up, and had a door which said ‘ WIZARDS ONLY’ and even had a microphone coming out of it.
“Say the magic words to get in”, whispered the microphone. I was filled with fear, and was about to scream and run out of the room. Suddenly I heard a response from the microphone weirdo saying “don’t be scared, don’t worry I am all right and safe. I know your grandfather he used to come in here everyday, all you have to do is say the magic words.” That was even stranger than anything else I have ever seen till now. Then I opened the book again and to the red button’s page. There was a spell next to the button which said “ OLIYATOS ORIYATOS OPINOS LE DORIOS”
I had no other choice; I just had to say it. I even wanted to figure it out what grandpa does in there, and how did the microphone know my grandpa? I wonder what they have in common. What happens in that room behind this world, whether it was magical or needing risk or even needing confidence?
I said the magic words and went inside. I was surprised and filled with shock. The room which I thought would be magical and wonderful, was a small, little tiny room with that annoying microphone again. “Say anything you would like to see or come true. Even if you wish to fly and have wings,” requested the microphone.
I have always been wishing to see fairies and to fly like them. “ I want to see fairies and fly like them. I even want to be one of them, and come here every day to become one of them,” I sighed. “NO” screamed the microphone. “YOU CAN’T DO THAT, YOUR GRANDFATHER DID THAT TO TRY AND SAVE THE ONE AND ONLY FAIRY WITH MAGICAL POWERS. THE EVIL GIANT WAS AND STILL IS TRYING TO STEAL HER POWERS TO BECOME THE POWERFUL MID EVIL OF ALL. Now poor little Daisy has to wait 10 more years till the new wizard is born to come and save her from that EVIL GIANT”, he continues.
“I know I am not a wizard, but still I can’t make poor little Daisy the Magic Fairy lose her powers for that Mid Evil Giant. I have to do something about it please let me in that world…Please let me in that world,” I begged him.
All at once something small and flying appeared up right next to me and said, “ I am Daisy the Magic Fairy.” I looked up at her and said, “Would you… Daisy the Magic Fairy accept me as your guard from that Mid Evil Giant and save you instead of my grandfather.” She was quiet for a moment, then “YES”, she responded calmly.
“Thank you Daisy the Magic Fairy, I promise you that the Giant will come nowhere next to you,” I replied happily.
When I was just about to take her back out to my world, to make sure that she is safe and away from the Giant… Something huge, enormous and spectacular jumped out at us and said, “HAHAHA WHERE TO. HOPE NOT TO GET AWAY FROM MY SIGHT.”
“OH NO… THAT IS THE MID EVIL GIANT HE IS TRYING TO STEAL MY POWERS. GET HIM AWAY FROM ME,” shouted Daisy.
That Giant was huge and green, his ears were long and tall and kind of weird. He had a brown top on which was all sticky and he smelled a lot. That Giant stood right in front of the door not letting us out. Whenever we were trying to get out he would say
“WHERE TO…OH…NOWHERE, STAYING HERE TONIGHT I THINK, FOREVER HAHAHAHAHAAAAA” in a bad evil voice.
“Open the Jawizsell the Magic Book of Spells,” screamed Daisy. I didn’t know what to do, I was all jumbled up. There were thousands of spells I never knew which one to use. I tried the very first spell I thought might be good which was
“MARINOS LEONAROS EXPELEY KILLIYO GARANTIEOUS.”
That spell never worked; actually it made things even much worse, now the Giant is even bigger, much more enormous. I tried another spell
“KILLIOS RIOS ASTEYOS MARVELOS”.
That spell didn’t even work. It made us turn into an ant’s size while the Giant was huge in his hugest size ever.
Now it is time for the last spell which was
“KILLIOS AREYOS MAYOES FIREYOS KORYOS.”
Finally now this was the spell which burned the Giant down, and turned us back into humans. That was I got back out with Daisy the Magic Fairy and she goes with me where ever I go, we are best friends. Out of the room and back into the library again, now I had found out what grandpa used to do when he locked himself inside. From now on Daisy and I go together in the library, I sit on grandpa’s special seat while Daisy sits next to me and tells me the stories of Grandpa the Wizard’s Hero. The Wizard’s book title actually meant ‘Jack’s Book of Wizard Spells.’
The END
Dear Batool,
I was most impressed by your entry for ‘The Magic Door Competition’. It was such a good idea having one wizrd born every ten years and I really liked the fact that Zainia had a connection with her Grandfather even though he had died.
I absolutely loved your description of the spell book and I also thought the magical microphone was a touch of genius (I’ve never heard of anything like that before!). I thought it was god that Zainia had to try several spells before she managed to defeat that smelly old giant. This was way more realistic because sometimes things can’t always go according to plan!
The beautiful layout and use of various fonts made it look very professional and a pleasure to read. The storyline was gripping and intriguing and your spells were very inventive and fun to say! You clearly have a terrific imagination. One of my favourite things about writing for children is coming up with weird and wonderful names. Sometimes I use an ordinary word and then jumble up the letters to make a new word (it’s called an anagram).
You are a very talented writer, Batool. You grabbed my attention right from the beginning and showed me that you have a gift that I hope you continue to use in future years. Thank you so much for your efforts. I’m so excited to hear what you think of my story!
THE MAGIC DOOR
BY DALE QUINN - NIDDRIE MILL PRIMARY SCHOOL
“Yes I’d better go pack for swimming, but what will Charmander wear?”
“C J all you have to do is put some of your old trunks on Charmander and he will be fine.”
“ Can we bring Pazillo?”
“No.”
“Ok”. C J rushed upstairs to find Charmander who was playing with the flame on the end of his tail. Charmander was an unknown creature. He was a red monster with green eyes.
“Let’s go.” said C J.
C J and his mum walked to the swimming pool. When they got in the pool C J saw a key on the bottom, C J immediately swam down to pick it up. Suddenly the key glowed in his hand. It was controlling itself and was as gold as the sun. Then to his surprise Charmander grabbed the key and held it up high. Shortly after that everyone was thrown out of the swimming pool.
C J and his mum went home and to his surprise Pazillo, his friend was standing at the door.
‘C J can I come in?”
“Sure, we’re just back anyway.”
Pazillo and C J walked up the stairs into C J’s room.
“You will never believe what I found,” said C J.
“What?”
“A key, it pulls me around a lot, so I think it leads to a door.”
“Well, why don’t we follow it?”
“Ok then. Mum, I’m going out.”
C J, Pazillo and Charmander walked out of the door with the key. Suddenly the key pulled them to a field not so far away. There was a door, the key charged into the lock and then out of the lock and into Charmander’s hand. All three of them walked through the door. Suddenly there were on the edge of a piece of lava. It smelt like a roast being cooked!
C J and Pazillo said together “Charmander, flame wheel now.” Charmander’s tail started to get hotter and hotter until
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
the lava disappeared!
Shortly after that the door appeared again. The three of them walked back through the door and they were back home.
Dear Dale,
I was really impressed with how you started your Magic Door story with a conversation. This is a really original idea and also a great way of pulling the reader in.
I loved the names of your characters and the monster with the flame on the end of his tail was a touch of genius! What a brilliant idea having Charmander, the friendly monster as one of the characters and using his magic tail to help out in the end. This is exactly the kind of thing I was looking for - using your imagination to reach a solution to the story was a really clever thing to do.
What a great idea having the key at the bottom of the swimming pool - a key that starts glowing the minute it’s touched and has a life of it’s own! I loved the description of the lava smelling like a roast being cooked - this was so original (and it made my tummy rumble!) Your use of the word “booooooooooooooooooooooooooooom” (with 29 ‘o’s!) made me giggle and really helped to set the scene.
Well done, Dale and keep writing.
Tags: Hazel Allan
